The film resumed after the intermission
but now my mind had started playing its own film. I couldn’t even make out what
was actually happening in the film neither could I sit comfortably in that
chair. I was getting so baffled with the thoughts running deep in my mind and
choices that I had to make.
It seemed pretty clear to me when
I thought to keep everything simple and stop continuing the apology act and
shut and watch the film, but as it happens with boys of that age, in particular
when sitting beside a lovely girl and upon that having a golden opportunity to
talk to her, my heart kept confusing my choice and affecting my decision. And
when, with great difficulty, I made up my mind to talk to her neatly and apologize,
my brain would warn me of the consequences that could not only change my entire
life but put everything that lay in front of me in risk, a risk that I would
never be able to handle.
It was when I had finished biting
the nails on all the fingers of my hand, I realized I had choices piling up and
the probability of making a decision easily was coming down. Trying to concentrate
on the film now was waste. I dint even knew what the characters on the screen
were doing and what was going on. When my heart knew it was waste concentrating
on the film it kept pressurizing me to fulfill its needs and take another look
at the girl. With no better choices and no more nails to bite upon left, I gave
into the heart’s decision. Slowly and carefully I started turning towards my
left and by the time I felt I had turned almost to an extent where everyone in
the hall and even the characters on the screen could notice me staring at her,
my heart started beating faster. But still it kept on asking me to continue.
With a perspiring forehead and a
loudly beating heart and keen but frightened eyes I kept myself moving and turned
completely and looked at her, I was shocked. She might have noticed was I upto
or even she was having a tough time with many choices building up in her mind like
me or whatever may be the reason but it was clear that she was looking at me
and the moment my eyes caught her looking at me she turned suddenly towards the
screen. Suddenly the whole balance of thoughts turned upside down, the forehead
seemed clear and dry now, eyes seemed to be more daring than ever, and lips
bent a little to carve a smile. Heart was pounding at the fastest speed,
happily though!
Everything seemed fine suddenly.
The film and the characters, now, dint seem to matter to me. I had started to
shoot a film of my own. I was now desperate for the film on the screen to end
and my film to begin soon.
Finally, after a short wait that
literally seemed longer than ever to me, the film ended and everyone started walking
out towards the exit. Quickly turning towards my left, I saw her too standing
up and turned towards the other side waiting for her turn to step out of the
hall. I stood up and was right behind her. I knew for sure that even her heart
was beating at the same rate as mine was. The whole hall was filled with
various loud noises but in between us it seemed nothing existed but complete silence.
Even Sahil kept blabbering about the film but my ears had turned deaf for him. I
cared neither to hear his words nor bother about what he would think. I just
kept my nerves together with a decision of talking to her as soon as we were
out of this crowd.
As it happens, the wait just kept
growing until our turn came to step out of the Exit door and when at last I had
stepped out of the door and was into the corridor, I saw even the corridor was
crowded with people crowding in from two more screens. I kept consoling my
heart to be a little more patient and decided to be close to her and talk to
her as soon as we were into the open. Sahil had by now understood I was in no
mood for a chat and had turned silent.
As soon as we walked out into an
open area from the corridor, I picked up all the courage in me and looked at
her. She was walking towards the exit of the mall quickly and had already
gained some distance. Now I had no guts to walk faster and approach her. With
no options left I just stood still and kept staring at her while Sahil walked
towards the elevator for the underground parking without even noticing me.
Her friend stepped into an auto
and then the girl beside me followed her. Once the auto started moving ahead
slowly, she quickly bent forward and her eyes looked everywhere and suddenly spotted
me standing right in front of them. They quickly noticed me and kept noticing
me until the auto moved forwards and she and her lovely eyes were out of my
sight.
While on the way back to my room,
as I sat behind Sahil on the bike, I kept figuring out if I saw her smile while
her eyes noticed me or if it was just a delusion forced upon me by my heart…
Vishal…
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