Girlfriend(s) once again !!!

Good Morning my dear SundayReaders!

What a lovely Sunday it is and what a beautiful morning it is. After a hard week that drains out every drop of sweat from our body and fills in every bit of tension into our brain, I think there should be some light humor to kick out all the week’s stress and help us have a relaxing Sunday!

And so, after a long series of spies and missions and actions, I decided to be back with the topic of my first post - another light humorous episode of Girlfriend(s)!

If you have read about the disappointing behavior, intolerable behavior, and weird behavior about girlfriend(s) in my previous three posts (links at the bottom of the post) on the same topic; then this post will show you and also prove another behavior which is the most uncontrollable behavior in girlfriend(s) – ANGER!

So my dear readers, here it goes…

That day was also a Sunday just like today. I still remember and will never forget that day in my life. I had woken up late without any hurry and without any tension of work, projects, meetings, managers and most importantly taking an early bath and getting to those irritating formals. The first thing I did when I woke up was to sleep again and I was successful; but only for few minutes. I had to open my eyes again in few minutes, neither because I dint get sleep nor because I had any work. I had to open my eyes because my mobile beeped alerting me of a message.

Opening my eyes, I unlocked my mobile and directly went into WhatsApp to check the message. It was from my girlfriend but once in, I found there were few other messages that had come overnight, one of which was a long message from one of my friends asking for some help. I could not control my curiosity and getting into his chat I started reading his message. By then, which was just half a minute, my mobile had beeped thrice. I quickly returned back to the main screen of WhatsApp and saw that all three of them were from her.

The first thing that I thought of on hearing those sudden three beeps was a bunch of morning wishes and kisses along with a morning hug and the day’s smug. With my smile growing wider, I opened my eyes fully and saw the last of the messages and it read ‘This is heights! I knw u r’ and it continued.

With some confusion adding up in my thoughts, I immediately clicked into the chat and read the messages –

Gud morning dr

And then after a gap of exactly half minute the three messages were –

Ohh look who has woken up so early.. u came online at my first message? Yipppieee..

Dr reply na if u r online.. why r u not replying..

This is heights! I knw u r busy reading other msgs and not even bothered to reply me.. I hate u..

I quickly replied back to her asking an apology and said not spoil her mood in morning. Then I typed in a second line saying how beautiful that morning was and how I woke up thinking about her and the first thing that I saw opening my eyes was her message. My third line went like this –

How lucky I m to hve u as my girlfriend dr J

But by then everything had gone out of control. The boundary had been crossed by me and the barrier of her patience was broken. All in just thirty damn seconds! She replied back –

First tell me whose msg u wr busy readin? And I dnt need ur sry..

Without wasting any second, which I knew was the only way of making up her mind and saving this Sunday, I replied back and then there was a long chat that went on.

It was a msg from my frnd dr.. he had sent me a msg asking for some help.. I cudnt control my curiosity on wht he needed from me..

Ok fine.. go and reply him.. why r u replying me now?

I said na I m sry dr.. I really wantd to reply u first but that word help made me curious..

Yeah yeah always frnds r first for u.. the first thing I do aftr opening my eyes is to msg u with so much of luv and u dnt even care fr my msgs..

I said na dr I m sry

I dnt need ur sry.. plz stop sayng tat..

Arey then why dnt u understand.. wat if he was in some urgency? I haven’t even yet replied back to him and I m chatting with u.. my first msg of the day is to u.. why dnt u consider that?

No no I never understand na.. I dnt need it.. its u who r always understanding.. tat day I just replied back 2 mins late and u scolded me.. wat about tday?

Arey yaar.. that day i was asking u to whr u had reachd and I was at the signal and cudnt wait in the middle of road on my bike waiting fr ur msg and u wr busy chatting with frnds..

Yes right.. u r always right.. u always prove it.. u never consider me and my situation..

Why r u nt understanding.. lets not fight for this silly reasn.. lets not spoil this lovely morning.. come on smile now J

Yes I always fight.. I m the one who always fights and spoils ur days.. its my mistake tat I get up every morning and msg u first and expect ur reply.. I dnt want to smile.. u smile.. I fight na.. u smile..

And thus my dear readers, the chatting continued without any break. Even after trying my best to calm her down, I was unsuccessful. The chat went on covering all the possible topics that helped grow the quarrel and finally breaking down my patience too and throwing me out of my Sunday mood. But my temper resulted only in her anger getting multiplied and in turn I had to multiply my apologies.

It was only after a long half hour that her anger suddenly disappeared and she started planning to watch a Bollywood movie that noon in the nearby mall. But, by the time the chatting stopped the screen of my mobile was about to shatter, my fingers were about to fall off and my brain was about to explode and I started thinking if the weekdays itself are better than weekends if this was the case.

I lifted my head up towards the fan thinking of asking the same question to God but heard a voice, before I could ask, “Son, first thing, I am not in that fan right now and I still do not have answer to your question. Second thing, please get up now and be at the mall on time, else I won’t be able to save you from your girlfriend!”

Links to my previous posts on Girlfriend(s) –

1. Girlfriend(s) !!

2. Girlfriend(s) againnn !!!

3. Girlfriend(s) yet againnn !!!

Wishing all my dear SundayReaders a wonderful Sunday...!
Comments Welcome...

Vishal…

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Girlfriend(s) yet againnn !!!

Dear readers, I am back to the topic of my first blog – Girlfriend(s)!!!

If you had thought the behavior of girlfriends written in my previous blogs about Girlfirend(s) was intolerable then spare a few minutes on reading this. This will lend some more help for your weak memory to spot out another weirdest behaviors of girls, which is, their irrelevant quarrels!

Links for previous two Girlfriend(s)

(http://sundayreaders.blogspot.in/2013/03/girlfriends.html http://sundayreaders.blogspot.in/2013/08/girlfriends-againnn.html )

Again, this is just for humor... No hard feelings...

That day, I still remember it was a Tuesday, had turned real unexpected for me. The work load was same, I had had no quarrels with my girlfriend, and there were no twists and turns in my life on that day and thus thought it was a rather unexpected one. I was afraid till I could slip into sleep. That’s only because, a day without problems in my life simply means I have been sleeping the whole day lazy enough to mess up myself into problems. Also, one of my closest friends having his birthday was giving a party in one of the restaurants, specialized in buffet dinner, around the corner. I was back home at the right time, got ready and was out with all my friends with a full in-swing mood planning a list of delicacies that I would be gobbling up in dinner. Right as I sat on the chair I got my girlfriend’s message. Till then she had agreed not to disturb me the whole evening and again she had messaged me. Thinking it to be something really damn urgent I read it to find that she needed some information. I replied back with the details and went ahead to pick up my first round of buffet’s part, the hot Tomato Soup along with few breads. The whole time I was busy emptying my soup, I had managed to do some multitasking that included having a nice chat with my friends on multiple topics (both censored and non-censored) and chatting with my girlfriend on mobile directing her to do some online stuff. And, as I had expected, she was not able to complete it and wanted me to call her. Not talking with anyone and spending the whole of party-time enjoying with ourselves was one of the main rules we had whenever we all friends partied together. I had explained this to her and still she was insisting me to call her again and again. Finally giving in to her pressure and taking permission from my friends after I lied to them by mentioning them the call to be from office I walked out of the restaurant calling her.

“Hey dear! What happened? Why urgency for that? I will do it once I go back home” I said before even yelling a hello at her.

Without answering my questions, she put forward her own questions to me. Then started all the in famous talks that happen regularly between two love birds who are angry over each other or say angry birds to keep it simple. Finally getting disgusted I shouted, “Please stop it yaar, it’ one of my best friend’s birthday and almost 20 minutes I have been away from table. We will continue once I reach home.”

“Ok I got it; you don’t even want to speak to me. That’s how much you love me. So bad of you”

“Hey listen I dint say I don’t wanna speak to you. I just said we will talk later. My friends will feel bad. Try to understand sweetie” I just added that extra sweet thinking it would change her mood and would let me go but she had in her mind a big no!

“I know you want to escape from me always. What if they are waiting, I just wanted to speak with you for only 5 minutes and you are behaving like I am spoiling all your party”

Oh God, you know the truth. Her 5 minutes of sense talk always comes after an hour of nonsense talks. When I prayed you for a charming girlfriend I had also meant a girl with heart and brain. After months I have got a quality time to spend with my friends and why do you plan to spoil that?

Finally accepting my defeat I tried to console her and after a whole of 20 more minutes she calmed down when I promised a gift for her. My dear readers, that day my best friend was having his birthday and I had not even cared to give him a damn bloody gift but I had to spend my pocket for her gift which had to be costlier than the gift I had gifted her a month back for her birthday.

The call was asking me something related to the issue she was facing and we had talked about everything, not to forget the gift, other than that issue. The irrelevant topics discussed in our call cost me my 50 minutes of dinner time and leaving a big hole in my already low running balance. Just as I returned back to my chair, I looked at all my friends who were by now had even forgotten I was with them when they walked into the restaurant.

One of them shouted at me, “Oh so you are back. We thought you went back home. Anyways, we have finished our main course and are having the deserts. What do you want to have?”

My stomach was already half filled from my girlfriend’s nonsense and now the other half got filled from my friends’ abuse. Now the only thing I needed was a good sleep to end that frustrating day!

I again wanted to ask the same question to God but I knew how helpless he was…

Vishal…

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Girlfriend(s) againnn !!!

Dear readers, I am back to the topic of my first blog – Girlfriend(s)!!!

If you had thought the behavior of girlfriends written in my first blog was intolerable then spare a few minutes on reading this. This will lend some more help for your weak memory to spot out the weirdest behaviors of girls, which is, their changing moods!

Again, this is just for humor... No hard feelings... 

One fine Sunday, I had woken up early than the other common Sundays and even had my breakfast along with my roomies, the breakfast consisting of 4 soft Idlis and a nice yummy crispy Vada, the most common South-Indian Breakfast, ending it with a strong hot coffee! With my stomach full my mood was set right into a damn good one. After returning back home, I found nothing much interesting was being played on any of the 82 channels. Switching the television off, I rolled on my bed. Being in a good mood, I sent my girlfriend a message hinting her that I wanted to chat with her. But, as always happens on a Sunday, she was busy with something and had no time for her romantic boyfriend. The time she gave me, that day, for chatting would come after my digital watch showed PM instead of AM. I had more than four hours to spend before I could chat with her.

Thinking of utilizing those four hours and finding none of my roomies would come out in that scorching Sun I decided to take bath and head for Library. Err, yes! I was finally to take bath after 3 days. Sorry to open up my secret but that’s true. I hate wastage of water! So with all the three pair of eyes staring at me in surprise I went into bathroom and was back out, fresh and reinvigorated, after a complete half hour of bath. With such a nice bath, I can easily leave bath for another three days I told to myself. Finally with that extra energy one gets after a refreshing bath, as I unlocked my mobile, I saw six messages all from her and two missed calls. Bit worried, I scrolled through the messages thinking of various reasons that could be behind a series of continuous messages. That’s what I had expected. Her mood had changed and she wanted to chat with me but not receiving my reply her anger had burst out and again this was her last message,

Message: U dnt even hav time fr me... atlst cnt u even reply?

Without being much shaken, I replied back

Reply: Hey dr... I was havng bath. Tell me now...

Message: No need to reply me now... u cnt reply me whn I msg u?

Reply: Arey I told u na I was havng bath... hw can I take mobile into bathroom??

Message: Dnt joke. Why u need to take bath now when u knew I would be msging u?

Reply: Hey u told u were busy and cant chat till noon... tats the reason...

Message: I told I was busy then not now... u just never undrstnd me... now lets chat at noon...

My fellow readers please have some courtesy and decide on the position I was in. She had said she was busy few minutes back and then suddenly she got time for me but since I dint reply even if she was free she was in no mood to chat and again the chat session got scheduled at noon. Such a weird behavior. Everything remained same except a small tornado rotated me upside down within five minutes and went ahead!

Leaving the schedule undisturbed I went to a Temple on the way to Library and asked the same question to the Lord, again, “When will boys understand girls?”

I heard the same meek voice echo “Son, please ask me anything in the world but not this!”

Vishal...

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Girlfriend(s) !!

When I created the blog the third thing on my mind was to start it with a light humorous post. So here it goes…

There was a time in this world, the time when the last dinosaur was yet snoring, the time when the whole world was full of peace. All the great men who ruled different bits of this planet sat together and redefined the future of this planet in such a way that there would be peace in the coming 6417(I chose this number only because this is my bike number and not because I read it in some history book long back in school) light years but then the God, who was unhappy with the peace on earth, sent ‘girlfriends’ to this planet. This started all the enmity and war and the blood flowed just like wine used to flow before. This is what my theory of Human Evolution is and I am not going to change this whatsoever may happen.

By now, few of you readers might start thinking this piece of writing as completely anti-women and might have even typed the number of Women Activists and ready to call them. But please stop, take some time, read the below written lines completely and then you will have complete freedom to decide if you want to call them or call me and console me. Before I start, let me clear one more thing, this is neither about women nor about girls nor about life partners, this is only and only about ‘girlfriends’!

Yes, there was a day when I too had a girlfriend. I had kept this secret with me for all these years but today I open up my secret to you all only if you promise me that you won’t tell this to my Mom and Dad. The experience was so ghastly that I still remember those days when I get upset or see defeat in front of me. Although nothing changes, I still feel I had sailed through much deeper and stinker problems. Believe me, the day I left my girlfriend was so lucky that finally I could breathe the real O2 and drink the pure H2O and eat something that kicked off my taste buds and finally filled my stomach to its full and gave me an eye full of sleep. Until then, I had turned into an insane man who had forgotten the happiness of life. I just used be like a mobile, everyday switched on by her message, start acting in the profile she sets me, beep a few times, sing once or twice to the tune she chooses, show the face she wants to see as profile pic, and remain in silent mode for the whole day ending it with a final switch off when she gets sleepy!

Reading my daily report in one sentence few of you might compare it with yours, other few might just wonder if that was the truth or if I am just bluffing and the rest all will have a blank mind. Anyways, please read on.

Stopping all the nonsense talk which I have been doing since the third line, let me just write a simple incident that I remember the most.

Everyone knows how it feels on a lazy chilled winter morning when you need to rush to your work just to make sure you don’t miss out that boring call with the client who never agrees with you and will never leave you to agree with him. Yes, on that specific day I too had same frustrated feeling like my body being thrown out of bed half asleep. All know how badly the body needs a cup of coffee/tea during such mornings, I too headed straight to the coffee shop after finishing up the call which not only wasted my 1 hour but also the client’s 1 hour 10 minutes just because I had joined 10 minutes late into the call. Shedding up purse as I bought that much needed cup of a strong hot coffee and was about to lift it up to my mouth and take in a sip my mobile beeped alarming me of a message. I don’t know what went wrong in my brain at that time; I just put a pause on my coffee and opened up my mobile to check the message.

call me dr. its urgent.

This message had come straight from none other than my girlfriend. I am sure you smart brains will have figured that out not because it contained the word ‘dear’ but the way it commanded me to do something. I was pretty shocked by this message as she had been to her hometown for some function and no way could she message me with her parents and others around her giving me full freedom of one whole week which I was enjoying and suddenly I felt like being jailed by reading that message. Just when I was thinking of the reason behind this sudden message I already received another message,

dr its urgnt...

“Oh God, why have you made these girls so impatient and so free of time” I said aloud enough so that only God could hear me and called her up.

I heard her cute voice saying “Helllooooooo good moooooooooooorning… busy?”

Her cute voice and the style of wishing good morning with that extended morning completely mesmerized me as it had done many a times and turned my mind upside down. With that sudden change I said sheepishly “Good morning dear, not at all busy for you”

“Sooo nice of you. That’s why I love you”

“Ooh is it? And how much do you love me??” I asked trying to be romantic changing myself from that official call’s formal talk to a romantic chat and setting my mood rightly to that chilly morning with the fog all around me, few of the flowers which had struggled all their life just to blossom in this romantic weather had come out of their buds and smiling at me, the reason of their smile I had never understood in my life, the countable number of sun’s rays which had already escaped numerous barricades and

reached the earth were glowing up the earth’s places here and there out of which one ray was directly falling on my coffee cup, of course made of stainless steel, which I had placed on the table in front of me and from there the reflection of the sparkle was directly striking into my eyes. The sweater which I was wearing was not only protecting me from that temperature but also giving me a special effect like a Bollywood hero wearing a sweater on an early morning and trying his luck at his love!

All this scene was shattered in seconds when suddenly she broke me saying, “Dear, let’s talk later on that. You know my mom is walking all around me. Now listen, I want you to book a train ticket for my aunt. You see I already promised her and I know you will do it. Please pleeeeaaaasssseeee na”

I knew that second extended ‘please’ was only to captivate me and break my anger of that sudden burden on me of booking the ticket. That aunt of her would certainly be travelling with my money. I had no choice except to nod to her. With a great trouble I had to get that sound out of my voice box and give her a positive reply.

Running back to my seat I opened the railway’s website and logged in to book the ticket in Tatkal, a special facility provided by the Indian Railways for lazy people like her aunt who never book ticket in advance and always want to travel with a reserved seat booked by burning a hole in others pockets. I don’t know if I was unlucky or if the aunt was lucky, but I got the availability and got a ticket for her. Before I could confirm the ticket and complete the transactions, my mobile beeped with a message.

dr is it booked? why so late?

Oh God. Had she ever logged into any of the booking websites? Had she ever done any online transactions? Doesn't she know how much time it takes to click a tab on a booking website and wait for the next screen? Doesn't she ever get to know how it feels sitting in front of that bloody screen waiting for the transaction to complete showing the message of money deducted from account?

I suddenly turned furious but thinking that would just spoil my day I cooled down and waited till the transaction completed and then mailed her all the details and sent a confirmation message.

thnks dr... tlk to u later...

That’s all guys. End of it! Nothing more than that. Disappointed, I picked up my coffee, may be after half an hour of buying it and went out in the sun to drink it. It had turned colder than a cold coffee. The romantic morning had died down, the flowers which were smiling earlier were now laughing at me, the rays of the ever bright sun had found me uninteresting and turned their routes away from me, the coffee lost its taste, the sweater started sweating me and finally the morning with which I had fallen in love with started hating me! Finishing the coffee within 3 gulps that dint trigger my taste buds and also dint touch my throat just flowed into my stomach and I was back to my seat with that disastrous look every boyfriend has in common!

I then closed my eyes, remembered the Lord himself and yelled in frustration, “God, When will boys understand girls?”

I heard a meek voice echo all around me, “Son, let me understand them first!”

Now, my dear readers, I leave the decision to you on how your response would be to this. Before any decision you make, let me clear again, this was a light fictional humor on ‘girlfriends’ !

Vishal...

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